Today I have an interview for a new job I had one yesterday that I missed because I was feeling so sick I could barely stay out of bed. I lost my job due to attendance I was working as a Behavioral Specialist for children with autism but could not continue when I began to feel sick,a job doesn’t understand I’m sick for too long. I applied for Social security but was denied because I was told I could still work but I was also told to get better I need lots of rest and exercise,how can I rest when I need money how can I rest when I have to care for my child how can I go to the gym when I can barely afford a gym membership . I now today have a new interview and this is how I’m feeling…………

• Malaise
• Depressed
• Fatigue
• Low energy, very tired

• Sick,sick,sick,sick

  But yet I have to get up I have to put on a smile I have to go to this interview. I have bills to pay I have a child to feed. But I feel like I’m fighting just to get up out of bed everyday my head hurts,my joints are swollen, I’m not hungry,my lymph node is enlarged in my neck I just dont feel good but yet I have to get up and I will. My best friend(Lupus) sometimes let’s me wake up feeling ok but it doesn’t last long,I like to call my new best friend that has been around for about two years now I like to call her or him or it bi polar. Sometimes it allows me to feel great and sometimes It attacks me so viciously that I feel awful, atleast today it’s allowing me to get out of bed so off I go to take my medicine get in the shower and put a smile on my face for my son’s and life’s sake all while feeling like I’m dying inside……………